1051 AM

 

1051 AM

10:51 am is too early for me to try to solve my problems
It’s too early for me to make the tears go away
Too early for me to attempt to stop them from streaming down my face
Way too fucking early
I don’t know how I got myself in that situation
But as fingers touched pussy
I said no repeatedly
Yet you still continued to ram your hands down my pants
I feel violated
I feel disgusting
I feel like you built me up just to tear me down
My words are the most powerful thing that I have
But when my words aren’t regarded
I am defeated.
I am nothing.
I said no and stop too many times to count
I pushed you off and off and off
But you kept getting back on
I think it was turning you on
I even gasped in pain as you rampaged through my flesh
No no no NO NO NO.
I didn’t consent to this
I didn’t agree to this shit when I signed up to be your friend
I said no
I demanded that you stop
Only demands that got acknowledged were yours
I said no
“Well just sit on my face and I’ll go”
Was your response
You couldn’t get it through your fucking head
That me saying no wasnt an innuendo for you to go down on me
But you kept trying
Kept trying to please me
Kept trying to say that we’d workout
That we were meant to be
You held my arms up
I was getting a workout
As i was trying to work up enough strength
To push your body off mine
Get out
Go away
Leave me the fuck alone
But You stayed
I shouldve blocked your number
I should’ve never spoken to you again
You asked forgiveness
You proceeded to tell me how much you cared about me
How much you liked me
How much you needed me
How much i meant to you
But obviously i didnt mean enough
Because you still raped me…
And I forgave you.

//

Consent to sex: everything but a sober, solidified “yes” from your partner…means “no”.  Rape and sexual assault are serious things, and these acts are often carried out by the people who are closests to you.  If you have been raped or sexually assualted, it is not your fault.  I repeat, it is not your fault.  Nothing you had on, nothing you did or said made it okay for someone else to violate you that way.  It is also okay to talk about it, but don’t feel rushed into that discussion.  Discuss it whenever you’re ready, in your own time.  There are people who will understand, people who have had to deal with the same thing.  Again, it isn’t your fault.

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