Trading Feelings for Drugs

Trading Feelings For Drugs

1/27/16

I woke up today
Head still beating
Heart still pounding
Eyes swollen from tears
Feeling beaten from fears
I am unwanted
And trying to gather thoughts
In a state of drunkenness is only satan’s doing
Or maybe this is karma
For all the times I’ve
Fucked up
Played with
Didn’t give a shit
About another muhfuckas emotional state
After fucking with me
And taking virginity
Time
Love
Life
Call me the soul snatcher
And as my throat snatches back
These shots of Smirnoff
I’m trying to be off
Lifted if you catch my drift
Because I feel rejected
I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach
Ready to vomit and not from the liquor
But something thicker
The blood in my body grows cold
And as my emotions attempt to take hold
I’m fucking over it
I feel cold
Heart turned stone as I’ve grown
I whispered
This time that was the alcohol speaking
It wraps around my brain
Intertwines with my tongue
Got me speaking in tongues
You don’t understand what I’m saying
But it’s shit I’ve said before
You don’t want me like you say you do.
And I’m falling for it.
Even though you’re lying
Even though I feel like you don’t really care.
Imma go with it
Imma pretend like you’ll catch me
And drink til the alcohol controls me
Call me the devils advocate
Trading feelings for drugs
Because in this moment, dancing with the devil
Is better than being vulnerable.

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